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 EvenTide (insert extra letters cause title has to be at least 10 letters long)

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Azk

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PostSubject: EvenTide (insert extra letters cause title has to be at least 10 letters long)   Thu Nov 04, 2010 9:48 am

Hey guys, this was just an idea that came into my head today, this story is placed inside the Twilight Realm and Lore, like Bill and Arata's, however it's slightly different. It's going to be set at a later period of time, the Twilight Realm is now bigger, more public, more commercial, and more realistic. The characters (us =p) will still be named the same, only they're going to be different people, with different attitudes and skills (hope you don't mind if I screw around a bit with the characters you guys have already made, I'm just using them as templates and pasting my own characters into them and presenting them as the same people).
By the way, I'm not going to be doing half-assed chapters, if I attempt to write this story I'm going to try and do proper novel-length (and hopefully quality) chapters, so be prepared to read a lot if you want to read this xD
I'm not sure how much of this I'll write, but depending on how it goes, possibly quite a lot.



Prologue
1328th Year of Lore. 256th Official Year of the Twilight. The Last Year of Emperor Steel Fire's Rule.

The spatters of blight seemed to carve oceans of gore onto the dark, ruptured surface of Hollow's Vissage. Over a century old, the cranium was perched on the tip of a spear, it's malformed, grotesque countenance glaring at all who passed, it's teeth bared in a perpetual snarl. It seemed to howl sub-audibly as the wind buffeted it, over and over.

The breezes were battling with the pillars of smoke which rose over the Slum Quater of the Twilight City. The Visage's silence declared the abrupt disappearance of the sea breeze that came scrambling over the tattered walls of Hollow's Keep, then it grated back into motion as the hot, sparking and smoke-filled exhalation of the Slum Quarter stretched across the city to sweep the peninsula's heights.

For Azk, the archaic rampart overlooking the city was far too familiar to be of any interest. This visit was his fourth in as many years; a full third of his life. He'd explored the courtyard with its pitched cobblestones, the Old Hold - now a stable, its upper floor home to all kinds of birds and bats - long ago, and the fortress where even now his father debated the island export tax with the port officials. However, a large portion of Azk's want to explore was out of bounds, even for a son of a noble house; for it was in the fortress that the First had his residence, and in the inner chambers of it that the affairs of the Empire that concerned the Twilight were conducted.
However, Hollow's Keep forgotten behind him, Azk's attention was on the ragged city below, and the riots that ran through its poorest quarter.
Hollow's Keep existed on top of a cliff. The higher grounds of the Peninsula were reached by a switchback staircase etched into the sandstone of the cliff wall. The plummet to the city below was at least eighty meters or more, with the Keep's damaged wall adding another six or so. The Slum was at the city's inland border, a crooked spreading of shacks and overgrown layers cut in half by the muddy river that made it's way towards the port. With most of the Twilight City between Azk's position and the riots, it was hard to make out much detail, beyond the growing columns of obsidian smoke.

It was midday, but the flashing and concussing impacts of magic made the air itself seem dusky and hefty.
The sound of clanking armour approached and a soldier appeared along the wall near to Azk. The man leaned his gauntleted forearms on the battlement, the scabbard of his sword scraping against the stones. 'Glad for your noble blood, eh?' he asked, brown eyes perusing the glowing city below.
The boy looked the soldier. He already knew the complete division regalia of the Twilight Army, and the man at his side was a commander in the Third - one of the Emperor's own platoons. On his dark grey cloak was a silver mark: a wolf howling at the moon. A Moonwolfen.

High-ranking soldiers and officials of the Twilight commonly passed through Hollow's Keep. The Twilight was situated on an island and remained a vital harbor of call, especially now that the Chaos wars to the south had begun. Azk had brushed shoulders with more than his share, here and in the capital, Swordhaven.
'Is it true, then?' Azk asked boldly.
'Is what true?'
'The First Shade of Twilight. Razackie. We heard in the capital before we left. He's dead. Is it true? Is Razackie dead?'
The man seemed to wince, his gaze fixed on the Slum. 'As is war,' he murmured under his breath, as if the words were not meant for anyone else to hear.
'You're with the Third Battalion. I thought the Third was with him, in the Seventh City. At Yo'ka-'
'By the Gods, they're still looking for his body in the smoldering rubble of that damned city, and here you, are, a merchant's son three thousand kilometres from Seven Cities with a piece of knowledge that only a few are supposed to know.' He still did not turn. 'I don't have a clue where you heard it, but take my advice and keep what you know to yourself.'
Azk shrugged. 'It was said that he betrayed a god.'
Finally the man turned to faced him. His face was scarred, and what looked like a burn spoiled his jaw and part of his left cheek. For all that, he looked young for a commander. 'Remember the lesson there, son.'
'What lesson?'
'The best life is a life that the god's don't notice. You want to live quietly, boy, live free. Every decision alters the course of destiny.'
'I want to be a hero.'
'So does every boy your age, you'll grow out of it.'
A new voice spoke behind them, a woman's, imperious and cold.
'Commander.'
She stood with two bodyguards near the doorway in the fortress' square tower. Her dusky brown skin marked her as Yo'kaian, but she was relatively plain, wearing a grey robe, her grey hair cut short like a soldier's, her visage thin and boring. However, her bodyguards were a different story, they sent a shiver down Azk's spine. They flanked her: abnormally tall, cloaked entirely in black, hands hidden in their sleeves, hoods hanging over their faces, hiding them in shadows. Azk had never seen a Blade before, but he knew these creatures to be members of the Cult. Which meant the woman was…
The commander turned around slowly, and said, 'It's your mess, Fauner. Seems I'll have to clean it up.'
Azk was shocked at the lack of respect, in fact the downright dislike in the soldier's voice. Fauner had created the Blades, a power rivalled only by the Emperor himself.
'That is no longer my name, Commander.'
The man scowled. 'So I've heard, "Thronetaker". You must be feeling pretty confident in the Emperor's absence to name yourself that, even in a foreign language. He's not the only one who can remember you as nothing more than a maid down in the Cathedral Quarter. I guess the gratitude's washed off awhile ago.'
If the words had stung the woman, her face betrayed no emotion whatsoever, 'I do not care what you have to say Commander. All I am here for is to remind you of the command I gave you, it seems your men are unable to handle this small task.'
'It's got out of hand,' the Commander said, 'the men are untrain-'
'Not interested. I gave a simple order Commander.'
'You know Fauner, when the Emperor comes back he'll quickly repeal the prohibition of sorcery laws you made. They've done naught but bad.'
The woman smiled coldly. 'You'll be pleased to know that the Tower's signalled the approach of the transports for your new recruits. We'll not miss you or your restless, idiotic soldiers, Commander.'
Without another word, or a single glance spared for the boy standing beside the commander, she swung around and, followed by her silent bodyguards, re-entered the fortress.

Azk and the commander returned their attention to the riot in the Slum. Flames were visible, climbing through the smoke.
'One day I'll be a soldier,' Azk said.
The man grunted. 'Only if you fail at all else. Taking up the sword is the last act of desperate men. Mark my words.'
Azk scowled. 'You're not like the other soldiers I've talked to. You sound like my father.'
'But I'm not your father,' the man growled.

Azk looked back down at the burning quarter, ignoring the swing of Hollow's Visage. 'They're pigs.' he said.
The commander sighed, 'Yes boy, a lot of people are.'





Oh god, it's 1am and I'm tired now, feel free to comment and stuff and I'll try to do some more tomorrow possibly. Get started properly.


Last edited by Azk on Fri Nov 05, 2010 3:16 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: EvenTide (insert extra letters cause title has to be at least 10 letters long)   Thu Nov 04, 2010 10:22 am

Wow! That was amazing! Seriously, Azk, I love the changes. The Twilight Realm seems a bit darker now.

Can't wait for the next chapter!
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PostSubject: Re: EvenTide (insert extra letters cause title has to be at least 10 letters long)   Thu Nov 04, 2010 1:27 pm

Awesome story Azk. I like the fact that it is very different from the other stories about the twilight realm, much darker.
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PostSubject: Re: EvenTide (insert extra letters cause title has to be at least 10 letters long)   Thu Nov 04, 2010 3:39 pm

Interesting...very interesting...I like it a lot so far Azk! Keep it going!
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PostSubject: Re: EvenTide (insert extra letters cause title has to be at least 10 letters long)   Thu Nov 04, 2010 9:11 pm

Coool story bro, love how the measurements are finally in metres lol, i never got feet or pounds lol. It's really good man, keep it up!

But-
The higher grounds of the Peninsula was reached by
as grounds is plural, was should be were as it refers to more than one
The higher grounds of the Peninsula were reached by
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PostSubject: Re: EvenTide (insert extra letters cause title has to be at least 10 letters long)   Thu Nov 04, 2010 9:55 pm

Thanks guys :) Will start writing more now. And thanks Zev, didn't notice that, will edit it in.
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PostSubject: Re: EvenTide (insert extra letters cause title has to be at least 10 letters long)   Thu Nov 04, 2010 10:24 pm

Cool. I'm gonna finsih 3 weeks of homework i havn't started yet that is due tomorow before i write more lol.
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PostSubject: Re: EvenTide (insert extra letters cause title has to be at least 10 letters long)   Fri Nov 05, 2010 5:25 am


Chapter 1 (Part 1)
1335th Year of Lore. 263rd Official Year of the Twilight. 7th Year of Empress Laessa's Rule.

'Poke and tug,' the old woman was saying, 'that's the way of the empress, like the gods themselves.' She leaned over to one side and spat a globule of phlegm onto the ground, then brought a grimy handkerchief to her wrinkled lips. 'Three husbands and two sons I saw off to war.'
The farmer-girl's eyes glowed as she watched the procession of mounted soldiers rumble past, and she only half listened to the crone standing beside her. The girl's breath had risen to the pace of the spectacular horses. She felt her skin blazing, a scarlet that had nothing to do with the heat of the day. The day was ebbing away, the sun's red streak over the shrubbery on her right, and the sea's exhaling against her face had grown cool.
'That was back in the days of the Emperor,' the hag continued. 'gods roast the bastard's soul on a pike. But look, girl. Laessa strews bodies with the best of them. Heh, she started with scattering his, didn't she now?'
The farmer-girl nodded vaguely. As fitted the peasant-class, they waited by the roadside, the old woman burdened beneath a hessian sack filled with potatoes, the girl with a reed basket balanced on top of her head. Every minute or so the old woman adjusted the sack from one wrinkled, bony shoulder to the other.
With the soldiers crowding the road and the ditch behind them a steep drop to sharp, shattered rocks, she had no place to put down the heavy sack.
'Scatters bones, I said. Bodies of husbands, bodies of sons, bodies of wives and bodies of daughters. She doesn't care at all, they're all the same to her. All the same to the Empire.' The old woman spat a phlegmy blob for a second time. 'Three husbands and two sons, ten coin apiece a year. Five of ten's fifty. Fifty coin a year's not exactly warm company, lass. Cold in winter, cold in bed.'
The farmer-girl wiped dust that the riders were dislodging from her forehead. Her bright eyes darted over the soldiers passing before her. The young men atop their high saddles held stern expressions, their gazes fixed straight ahead. The few women who rode among them sat tall and almost fiercer than the men. The setting sun threw red glints from their helms, flashing so brightly that the girl's eyes stung and her vision blurred.
The old woman raised her voice, snapping the girl out of her reverie. 'I asked what you got in your basket, lass?'
'Seeds. Enough for three seasons. We need to get a harvest ready for the spring before next winter.
'You're the farmer's daughter,' the old woman said. 'I seen you before on the road, and down on the beach. Seen you and your dad at market. Missing an arm, ain't he? More bones for her collection, eh?' She made a slicing motion with one hand, then nodded. 'Mine's the first house on the track. I use the money to buy candles. Five candles I burn every night, five candles to keep old Yigga company. It's a tired house, full of tired memories and I'm one of 'em, lass.'
The girl smiled again and swept her gaze back to the soldiers. 'Isn't it amazing?' she breathed.
Yigga's hand darted out and snagged the girl's thick blonde hair, yanking it hard.
The girl cried out. The basket on her head lurched, then slid down on to one shoulder. She grabbed frantically for it but it was too heavy. The basket struck the ground and split apart. 'Aaai!' the girl gasped, attempting to kneel. But Yigga pulled and snapped her head around.
'You listen to me, girl!' The old woman's foul breath wheezed against the girl's face. 'The Empire's been grinding this land down for two hundred years. You was born in it. I wasn't. When I was your age Yo'kai was a country. We flew a banner and it was ours. We were free, girl.'
The girl was sickened by Yigga's breath. She bolted shut her eyes.
'See this as the truth, child, else the Scale of Falsehood blind you forever.'
Yigga's voice took on a humming cadence, and all at once the girl stiffened. Yigga, Yiggarai the Soothsayer, the witch who imprisoned souls in candles and burned them. Souls devoured in flame - Yigga's words carried the petrifying tone of prophecy. 'See this truth. I am the last to speak to you. You are the last to hear me. Thus are we linked, you and me, beyond all else.'
Yigga's fingers snagged tighter in the girl's hair. 'Across the plains and sea, the Empress has driven her plow into celibate earth. The tide of blood is come, and it'll sweep you under, child, if you're not careful. They'll put a sword in your hand, they'll give you a fine horse, and they'll send you across that sea. But your soul shall be embraced by shadow. Now, listen! Bury this deep! Yigga will spare you because we are linked, you and I. But it is all I can do, understand? Look to the Ruler bred in Blackness; his is the hand that shall free you, though he'll know it not-'
What's this?' a voice bellowed.
Yigga turned to face the road. A soldier had slowed his mount. The Seer released the girl's hair.
The girl fell back a step. A rock on the road's edge turned under her foot and she fell. When she looked up the outrider had trotted past.
Another thundered in in his wake.
'Leave the pretty one alone, crone,' this one growled, and as he rode by he leaned in his saddle and swung an open, gauntleted hand. The iron glove cracked against Yigga's head, spinning her around. She toppled.
The farmer-girl screamed as Yigga grounded heavily against her thighs. A bead of crimson spit spattered her face. Crying softly, the girl pushed herself back across the gravel, then used her feet to shove away Yigga's body. She climbed to her knees.
Something within Yigga's prophecy seemed lodged in the girl's head, heavy as a boulder and housed in the shadows. She found she could not remember a single word the Sayer had said. She reached out and grasped Yigga's woollen shawl. Carefully she rolled the old woman over. Blood covered one side of Yigga's head, running down behind the ear. More blood smeared her wrinkled chin and blemished her mouth. The eyes stared sightlessly.
The girl drew back breathlessly, managing a few ragged lungfuls of air. She wiped her nose and looked to her own basket. 'Never mind the candles now, they're gone now, just a scattering of bones and bodies.' She said in a thick, old voice, not her own. She crawled towards the packets of seeds that she had bought, picking them up. When she spoke again her voice was normal once more. 'I better get home, Daddy's waiting for the seeds, he's standing at the door waiting for me.'
A chill ran over the road. 'Here it comes...' she said in the odd, grating voice.
A gloved hand fell on her shoulder. She crouched down, cowering 'Easy, girl,' said a man's soothing voice. 'It's over. Nothing to be done for her now.'
The farmer-girl looked up. A man clothed in black leaned over her, his face obscured beneath a hood's shadow. 'But he struck her,' the girl said, in child's voice. 'And we have seeds to plow, me and Daddy-'
'Let's get you on your feet,' the man said, moving his long-fingered hands down under her arms. He straightened, lifting her easily. Her bare feet dangled in the air before he set her down.
Now she saw a second man, shorter, also clothed in black. This one stood on the road and was turned away, his gaze in the direction of the soldiers, who had gone. He spoke, his voice thin and nasal. 'Wasn't much of a life' he said, not turning to face her. 'A minor talent, long since dried up, the Gift. Oh, she might have managed one more, but we'll never know will we?'
The farmer-girl stumbled over to Yigga's bag and picked up a candle. She straightened, her eyes suddenly hard, then deliberately spat on to the road.
The shorter man's head snapped towards her. Shadows seeming to play beneath his hood.
The girl shrank back a step. 'It was a good life,' she whispered. 'She had these candles, you see. Five of them. Five for-'
'Necromancy,' the short man cut in.




Mmk, there's that chapter done or at least part of it. I've decided I'll follow a few different characters' paths rather than just 1. Also I'm going to be doing some chapters in parts rather than write out massive walls of text, I'm not quite finished with this event yet, but hopefully you get the idea of what's happened and the next chapter will illustrate on that :)
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PostSubject: Re: EvenTide (insert extra letters cause title has to be at least 10 letters long)   Fri Nov 05, 2010 6:06 pm

Azk! This is such a good start for a story and the idea is great.

Keep it going mate. :D
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PostSubject: Re: EvenTide (insert extra letters cause title has to be at least 10 letters long)   Fri Nov 05, 2010 6:19 pm

Yay! New chapter is new! Wewt!
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PostSubject: Re: EvenTide (insert extra letters cause title has to be at least 10 letters long)   Sat Nov 13, 2010 10:05 pm

Chapter 1 (Part 2)
1335th Year of Lore. 263rd Official Year of the Twilight. 7th Year of Empress Laessa's Rule.

The man, stood to her side, and said softly, 'I can see them, girl. I know what they want.', The other man grunted. 'The witch sheltered five weak souls. Nothing special.' He tilted his head. 'I can hear them now. Wanting her, calling for her.'
Tears filled the girl's eyes. A speechless agony seemed to well up from that black stone in her mind. She wiped her cheeks. 'Where did you come from?' she asked abruptly. 'We didn't see you on the road.'
The man beside her half turned to the gravel track. 'On the other side,' he said, a smile in his tone. 'Waiting, just like you.'
The other giggled. 'On the other side indeed.' He faced down the road again and raised his arms.
The girl drew in a sharp breath as darkness descended. A loud, tearing sound filled the air for a second, then the darkness disappeared and the girl's eyes widened.
Seven massive Serpents now swarmed around the man in the road. The eyes of these reptiles glowed yellow, and all were turned in the same direction as the man himself.
She heard him hiss, 'Eager, are we? Then go. Silently, the Serpents bolted down the road.
Their master turned and said to the man beside her, 'Something to gnaw on Laessa's mind.' He giggled again.
'Must you complicate things?' the other answered wearily.
The short man stiffened. 'They are within sight of the column.'
He cocked his head. From up the road came the scream of horses.
He sighed. 'You've reached a decision, Cureda?'
Cureda grunted amusedly. 'Using my name, Annamus, that means you've just decided for me. We can hardly leave her here now, can we?'
'Of course we can, Cureda. just not breathing.'
The man looked down on the girl. 'No,' he said quietly, 'she'll do.'
The farmer-girl bit her lip. Still clutching Yigga's candle, she took another step back, her wide eyes darting from one man to the other.
'Pity,' Annamus said.
Cureda seemed to nod, then he cleared his throat and said, 'It'll take time.
An amused note entered Annamus' reply. 'And have we time? True vengeance needs the slow, careful trailing of the victim. Have you forgotten the pain she once delivered us? Laessa's back is against the wall already. She might fall without our help. Where would the satisfaction be in that?'
Cureda's response was cool and dry. 'You've always underestimated the Empress. Whic explains our current situation… No.' He gestured at the farmer-girl. 'We'll need this one. Laessa's raised the ire of Eclipse's Children, and that's a wasp's nest if there ever was one. The timing is perfect.'
Faintly, above the sound of screaming horses, came the shrieks of men and women, a sound that penetrated the girl's heart. Her eyes darted to Yigga's motionless body on the roadside, then back to Annamus, who now approached her. She tried to run but her legs had been weakened to a helpless trembling. He came close and seemed to study her, even though the shadows within his hood remained impenetrable.
'A farmer-girl?' he asked, in a kindly tone.
She nodded.
'Have you a name?'
'Enough!' Cureda growled. 'She's not some mouse under your paw, Annamus. Besides, I've chosen her and I will choose her name as well.'
Annamus stepped back. 'Pity,' he said again.
The girl raised imploring hands. 'Please,' she begged Cureda, 'I've done nothing! My father's a poor man, but he'll pay you all he can. He needs me, and the seeds - he's waiting right now!' She felt herself start to tremble. 'I've done nothing!' She started to cry.
'Please.'
'I've no choice any more, child,' Cureda said. 'After all, you know our names.'
'I've never heard them before!' the girl cried.
The man sighed. "With what's happening up the road right now, well, you'd be questioned. Unpleasantly. There are those who know our names.'
'You see, lass,' Annamus added, suppressing a giggle, 'we're not supposed to be here. There are names, and then there are names.' He turned to Cureda and said, in a chilling voice, 'Her father must be dealt with. My Serpents?'
'No,' Cureda said. 'He lives.'
'Then how?'
'I suspect,' Cureda said, 'greed will be enough, once the slate is wiped clean.' Sarcasm filled his next words. 'I'm sure you can manage the sorcery in that, can't you?'
Annamus giggled. 'Beware of shadows bearing gifts.'
Cureda faced the girl again. He lifted his arms out to the sides. The shadows that held his features in darkness now flowed out around his body.
Annamus spoke, and to the girl his words seemed to come from a great distance. 'She's ideal. The Empress could never track her down, could never even so much as guess.' He raised his voice. 'It's not so bad a thing, lass, to be the pawn of a god.'
'Poke and tug...' the farmer-girl said.
Cureda hesitated at her strange comment, then he shrugged. The darkness spiraled out to envelop the girl. With their icy touch her mind fell away, down into shadows. Her last brief feeling was of the soft wax of the candle in her hand, and how it seemed to expand between the fingers of her clenched fist.






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PostSubject: Re: EvenTide (insert extra letters cause title has to be at least 10 letters long)   Mon Jun 20, 2011 10:13 pm

Is this dead? xD
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PostSubject: Re: EvenTide (insert extra letters cause title has to be at least 10 letters long)   Wed Jun 22, 2011 1:26 pm

It appears so.
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